One

usLast weekend we baptised a family of three – Mum, Dad and their son.  They came to their first service in May and just a few months later here they all were demonstrating their love for Jesus and their desire to walk with him through life.  It was a great day.

Being baptised is a great thing for everyone – for those involved, for the church… and for the minister!  It was great to be a part of it all.

One thing we must remember though is exactly what was happening on Sunday.  People were making allegiances to Christ not to a church or to a community or to a denomination.  The couple and their child were not being baptised into the Anglican Church, or St Michaels, they were being baptised into Christ.

All this is not a new thing.
Who is Paul and who is Apollos?
Nobody…  Christ however is someone quite different.

God has been speaking to me very much recently about how much unity matters to him.  We are one church.  There is only one Church.  We must live as if there is only one church.  I may find myself falling back into other wasy of seeing thigns but I must resist this. Jesus is not divided.  He only has one body.

Father forgive us for thinking that we are divided, that we belong to different churches.  Forgive us for setting up artificial barriers between ourselves as your followers.  Help us to see ourselves as belonging to you and you alone.  Make us one.  Help us to live as one.  For that is what we are and what you have made us to be.  Amen.

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Discontinuous Change

Discontinuous Change

Non-incremental, sudden change that threatens existing or traditional authority or power structure, because it drastically alters the way things are currently done or have been done for years.

This is what it feels like is happening around us.
It also feels like what is needing to happen inside the ‘church’

The alternative is incremental change – a steady and gradual improvement of things.
But this is not working…

As a leader of a chuch community I think this is going to be one of the hardest things to do right – to lead others through a process of discontinuous change. It is a shock for us all. It will be hard for us to keep together. It feels messy. It feels un controlled. It seems as if the old order of things is passing away…

I don’t think I have a choice though…

What do you think?
Rich

change

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St Michael’s day

‘Michael’ means ‘like God’.
Interesting name for an angel.

He was apparently quite strong.
He was a warrior.
He was a fighter.

He appears twice in the bible – on both occasions in the bits of the story that are most colourful, most extreme, most dramatic – Daniel and Revelation. He is only known about from visions.

In both visions he is fighting.

For Daniel (Chapter 10) he is recorded as fighting the ‘prince of Persia’ which I am told is a way of talking about a spiritual being of great power holding sway over Persia – a demonic power.

In John’s revelation he is in heaven (Revelation 12) where there is a war going on. The battle involves Michael and his angels and a ‘dragon’ or ‘serpent’ or ‘satan’ and his angels. The dragon is strong but not as strong as Michael who casts him aside and throws him out of heaven down to the earth. Peace is restored for a while in heaven, but then the focus of the story moves to earth where the battle continues as the dragon tries to destroy all that is good.

Neither Daniel or John’s visions are easy to understand, although many have claimed to have worked out the meaning of every detail and every paint stroke.

For me I find them making sense only when I stand back and look at the picture they create as a whole. And the picture I see is a picture of a spiritual battle. It is dark, foreboding, terrifying. Flashes of red stand out and you can almost hear the screams yourself.

It is real.

My church is dedicated to St Michael.
My Children were both born in St Michael’s hospital in Bristol.
I was born just three days before St Michael’s day.
My first job as a curate was at another St Michael’s Church (Southfields in London).
And our local junior school is called St Michaels.

He seems to be following me around, or vice versa.

The full name of our church is ‘St Michael and All Angels’. The other angels matter too, and on the inside of our building some fantastic people have carved their presence all over the place. We are literally surrounded by angels.

Mostly angels are depicted as sweet and gentle. But the angels that were part of Michael’s company were the equivalent of heaven’s SAS. They were the front line of attack and the first line of defence. They are warriors.

I have not always been comfortable with the idea of God being at war. The idea is easily co-opted by governments and kings and powers who want to overpower the poor or the weak or the workers. I prefer to talk of the prince of peace.

But the stories about Michael prevent me from taming God. The God of the bible narrative is indeed engaged in a terrible battle – against the enemy, satan, the devil, his demons, his angels, the dragon…

Paul encourages us not to forget this – and to pray for strength and for protection. He tells us to put on the armour of God and to fight against the powers and principalities of this dark age. For Paul all this battle talk is real enough.

And it is real for me too.

There is a battle raging around us here in Twerton and many are casualties of war. Children who witness things they shouldn’t ever have to see. Parents who feel overwhelmed and insecure. Mothers who suffer from depression. Dads who lack direction. Whole communities who feel powerless. Whole blocks of flats who feel barricaded. Older people who fear their neighbours. Young people who idly experiment with drugs.

It’s all here – just around the corner from St Michael’s Church.

I pray that we might rise up again, with Michael, and join the fight – not against flesh and blood – but against these dark powers.

May the kingdom come here in Twerton too – as it has already come in heaven
And may the dragon’s day be numbered.
May God deliver us from evil.

Amen

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re-imagining the church

I’ve been thinking
and praying
and worrying
and mulling
and I’ve been talking with God and my friends
and reading blogs and websites and books
and I’ve been listening to sermons and watching talks on Youtube
I’ve been searching stuff out.
And I am excited
I am excited once again about what I have been hearing and reading and mulling on
I am energised and alive once again.

You see for a long time I have had this idea – this picture in my head
of a church of people
of a community of people
of a whole range of people who are so excited about Jesus and what he is doing in them
so excited about the Father and his love for them
so excited about the Spirit and his presence in them
that people describe them as wild
crazy
alive
colourful
passionate
generous
exciting
dangerous even

For a long time I have carried around these ideas and these pictures
and I have known that they are from God
that they fit the story
that they make sense
that they echo the New Testament
people living lives of radical and outrageous generosity
people serving others in their community just for the pleasure of it
people visiting old people, or taking out young people or spending time with a child
listening and laughing and wasting time as if it will never run out

and of people so attracted to Jesus that they have decided to orientate everything they do
their finances
their time
their families
their work
around him
People who know their need of a saviour
who know their need for a new heart
for a new beginning
and who are trusting Jesus with everything
spending time with him
considering his words and putting them into practice
meeting with others to pray
working it out
studying
celebrating
serving
being quiet
retreating

Being disciples

Church

And my imagination is on fire once again
and I am alive with numerous pictures of a different way of living and acting out faith
groups of people energised by a purpose
excited by a desire to bless others
animated by the Spirit of God who has good news for the poor
and sets free the tied up
and wipes away tears
turning mourning into joyful dance

I can see women and men in a café’s kitchen
chatting, laughing, cooking, washing, encouraging, training
inviting in those who are lonely and isolated and brittle
involving those who are out of work and low in spirit
and creating community and joy and conversation
praying with the sick and the sad
pointing people towards Jesus who loves them and who steps into our world
telling stories of his passion and compassion
inviting them to trust him for salvation and healing
forgiveness and peace
and love

I see a motley crew of men
some craftsmen, others labourers, others neither
joining forces to heave wet mattresses into skips
cutting grass
painting fences
repairing windows
clearing gardens
simple, practical tasks
week after week
united in a desire to sow seeds of hope
and to see beauty instead of ashes
hard work
fruitful
quiet
true

I see a stunning, uncontrollable family of artists and dancers and musicians
spending time with the kids
and the adults
the gifted
and the less so
encouraging them and motivating them
to express themselves
and move and sing and play and record and perform
all working together expressing the creator’s gift
and discussing his love
and displaying his passion for justice and reconciliation and joy
and creating new forms of worship
and rhythm
all directed to the genius behind it all

And I see a community of parents
sharing life together
and drawing others in
making families
being brothers and sisters to each other
learning to set boundaries for their kids and themselves
talking about relationships
and school
and how to get their children to eat vegetables
and how to help them to read
and how to lead them into prayer
and how to enable to meet with their heavenly father
and his son
and his spirit
breathing in them

And I see a playful, inspired group of teenagers
and others a little older than them
organising activities in a junior school
which stretch the children after school
and connect parents together
eating food
going on trips
experiencing wonders
playing games
telling stories
acting them out
finding life
sharing Jesus
discovering how he can help them live true
and protect them from evil
and learning how to put his words into practice

I see a band of carers
and listeners
and encouragers
with a deep concern for the elderly
and the single and the widow
without family
or support
who need strength and conversation
and advice
and concern
and interest
and laughter
and activity
and vocation
even as their days come to a close
and their stories come to an end
I see them organising and visiting
and enjoying and advocating
sending cards and flowers
phoning and calling in
taking them out
having them around
and drawing others into the beautiful art of caring for those at the end of their lives
making them whole
and giving them dignity
and confidence
and faith

And all of these groups I see are called ‘church’
even though they are so small
and don’t necessarily gather on Sunday
or have a PCC
or a treasurer
or a worship band
But they are still ‘church’ -
small mustard seed sized communities joining in with what God is already doing
becoming a tree in which all kinds of birds will build their homes

It has not always been like this.
I have been brought up with other images in my mind
I have been educated in another vision of the story lived out
another set of pictures that constituted success

All my life I have been dreaming, worrying, thinking about another kind of church
hoping that this church would be a light to the world and hope to the nations
a ‘church’ which meant buildings and services
worship in rows
ministry at the front or the back or the side
prayer meetings
big events
missions
holiday Clubs
building projects
Sunday morning
church leaders

All of which have been good
in their own way
please hear me right

And oh, how I loved being involved in all these things
how I loved being part of the worship group
and the drama team
and the ministry team
and the welcoming team
and the Holiday Club team
and the Sunday morning team
and the Youth Club Team
I have loved helping on Alpha
and in that family fun day we did
or running that service in the hospital
or putting on a show at the church

I got so much from all of these things
I got life
and I learned so much about myself
and others
and God
and I am sure God used these things too
for his purposes

But if I had been asked to imagine success when I was younger it would have been easy to describe it:
a church packed to the gunnels
children, parents, young people, old people
all gathering together on Sunday morning
in a great building
accessible and bright and simple
loads of people rubbing up against each other and worshipping their hearts out
to a lively band
and listening to a great teacher
and being resourced by great team
and belonging to solid, lively home groups
loving each other
and working this out in numerous ways
giving their money to the church and to the poor
enabling mission and evangelism and compassion

This has been my inherited model for church
This has been the goal

But more recently I have had this all turned upside down once again
or inside out

I am re-imagining the church

I am seeing new wine-skins
numerous mission-oriented collectives
purpose-shaped lives
co-operative friends of Jesus
living in the kingdom of God
sent out by the Spirit
pouring themselves out for the sake of the world
hoping to make disciples
and welcome others through baptism

And some are called to be senders and starters and catalysts
and others carers and guides
and others story tellers and news carriers
and others stirrers and truth holders
and others teachers and mentors
enabling everyone of us to carry out the task they have been given by God
ministering peace
and proclaiming the good news of reconciliation
and healing
and forgiveness
and justice
and beauty
and renewal
and hope

Upside down
this church has many ministers
many priests
many leaders
not just a few
never only one
(God forbid!)
who did all the work
supported by everyone else
but everyone supported by a few
everyone participating
and witnessing
and displaying God’s goodness
to a watching world
everyone baptised
and equipped
and sent out
as ambassadors
of the king
of the message of the cross
and of the power of the resurrection
and of the kingdom that is coming
everyone
not just a few
joining God
in his mission
to save the world
and make all things new
under Jesus
Lord

This is what I see

What about you?

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The story

We are made for good
we are made for God
Sadly, neither goodness nor God-ness comes very easily to us
something is wrong
with us
within us
in our societies and communities
in our world
and no matter how hard we try
how hard we work for peace or justice
how creative we are
how passionate we are about making things better
things remain broken
we remain broken
and we die

God is love
and as love
he has to be involved
he can’t hold back
sit back and watch
he has to get his fingers dirty
he has to destroy this death, this shroud that covers all people
he has to make it possible for peace and justice to flow like rivers once again
he has to heal the broken
in us
in others
and to restore his image in us once again
his God-ness and his goodness

Abraham was chosen as a seed
a seed that would reproduce a thousand times a thousand
until everywhere was touched and blessed by God
his children’s children were to be a light to the world
a people who displayed God’s goodness
and his justice
and his righteousness
and his creativity
and his beauty
Abraham was blessed
to be a blessing
to everyone
to the world

The people
chosen for this task
were not special or holy or better
they were insignificant and powerless
they didn’t even have a land
or a law or a religion
but somehow, God would use them to shine light into the world
and teach us about himself
and his justice
and his forgiveness
and his faithfulness
to us all

And this seed spread
and became a thousand seeds
which became a thousand more
and the people became a force that threatened the great power of the age
who bound them up and tied them down
ordering to make bricks without straw

But God saw their plight and heard their cries
and Moses demanded the people were set free
Hard of heart it took the full force of God’s love
the full force of his anger
to open the doors and let them go

And so the family of tribes became a people
joined together around one law
one way of life
one form of worship
one God

It does not surprise us to hear that the people did not get it all right
we are not shocked to hear that they found it hard to keep their side of the covenant made by God
we are not surprised by their faithlessness or their rebellions
their self-righteousness or their hypocrisy
or their adultery
we are not taken aback to read of how they swapped vocation for nationalism
for they are like us and we are like them
we are all like sheep and have gone astray
and the light almost went out

In and out of love they fell with God
whose love for them was always steady and sure
Slow to anger
and rich in love
they described him
a heart broken lover at times
an angry parent at others
longing for relationship to be restored
and justice to flow once again like rivers

And so he let them go
for a while
to see if they would understand
that life without him was no life at all

Jesus
‘God with us’
‘God saves’
came to us
and taught about life
Life (with a capital L) in the kingdom of God
under His rule
And he attacked all that raged against us
sin
illness
injustice
depression
with weapons of love
and grace
and sacrifice

It cost him his life
for the principalities and powers of the world
were always set against him
trying to extinguish the light that revealed their darkness
And so he was killed
crushed
beaten
sacrificed

And so God’s righteousness
was revealed
his love made plain for all the world to see
love to the loveless shown that they might lovely be

But
then came news of his resurrection
his return from death
eating bread and fish
speaking with his followers
breathing and living again
teaching them more about the Kingdom of his Father
and of the coming of the Spirit
the breath of God
available for everyone
who believed in him
and followed him
and turned away from the darkness
to walk out Life in God’s kingdom
a Life that would never be extinguished
even by death or persecution or sacrifice
a Life of goodness and God-ness

And these people awakened by God’s life giving breath
were nothing special, or holy
they were not better than thou
they were just the hungry
and the poor
and the desperate
they were the weeping
and the longing
and the passionate
waiting for God to do something in and through them in this world of his
so that once again all people might display his goodness and his God-ness

The Spirit drove them out
energised them
enthused them
empowered them
and they replicated Jesus’ Life
giving themselves away to other
and to each other
Living in his name
displaying his goodness and God-ness for all to see and taste

And they invited everyone to join them
to be part of their Life
to join the community
to embrace the mission
to fight the fight
to lay down their lives
to live his risen Life
to spread the good news
of the good Friday dying
and the Easter Sunday resurrection
and of the closeness of God’s kingdom
the availability of his forgiveness
and the wiping away of tears

And we now have joined this multicultural throng
from all nations of the earth
Abraham’s seed
bearing light
displaying God’s goodness as best we can
depending on the Spirit
following Jesus
praying for the kingdom to come
on earth
as it is in heaven

Come, Lord Jesus
Come

And one day Jesus will return
The Lord of all
will shine like the sun
and all things will be put under his feet
even death
and we will wipe away our tears
and put on our dancing shoes
as we feast on the finest of meats
and celebrate with the finest of wines
And God will live with us on earth
We will be his people
and everything,
heaven
and earth,
will be made new
and all the rubbish of our lives
of our pasts
Of our histories
of our failures
of our sin
will be consumed for all time
never to be remembered
and all those who trust in Jesus
who remained faithful to the end
will be crowned as kings
will inherit the earth

and the new world will begin

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Bruises and wounds

So many words miss the mark
Words that are intended for good, but fail to comfort
Ideas that are true, but not grasped by the heart
Some, because they have been separated from their true roots and welded instead onto the worst of experiences, the worst of feelings, have been twisted out of all recognition
Beauty is turned into ugliness
Peace into fear

I met up with someone this week who’s story hurt to hear
It was a story of bruises and wounds, of locked doors, of repeated abuse

I was silenced by their story
impressed with their courage and their eloquence
as they so honestly shared their thoughts and feelings with me
trying to make sense of what was so unjust, and so wrong and so sense-less.

‘Forgiveness’ can sometimes be one such hard word
Like a bullet
Like a bitter pill
It doesn’t always attract
It can make someone angry

And this is understandable when the bruises and wounds cut so deep
And a child is robbed of so much, so often, again and again.

‘Father’ is another one,
a word-image so wonderful and so strong
until it becomes a brutal horrifying fear
an anger-making thought
because of so much pain

‘God’ is another word that can sometimes rip us apart
Seemingly good, in the wrong hands, or at the wrong time, the word can seem so oppressive, so terrifying, so dead.

Sometimes words are hard
and it is best not use them

But after silence came a prayer:

Father of love
A love so pure that it is always, always angry at any hurt or pain that is inflicted upon another
A love so radical that it will always rage,
never sit on the fence, never ignore
Father of love, help me to leave enough room for your vengeance
to leave enough room for you to do what is right
and not to take into my own hands that which is best left to you
Help me to leave those words alone – revenge, hate, fear, and guilt
and all the feelings that go with them
and in some way to bear the pain and the cost
instead of trying to pass it back to the one who has hurt me so badly.
Help me to carry it, to suffer, to pick up my own cross
different and yet so similar to your own
and to say, “Father…” and “Forgive them”
“They know not what they are doing”

Help me
Set me free
From my pain and guilt and anger
From my bitterness and emptiness
From the intensity of loss that overwhelms
From the battle to remain calm and sane
From the fight for my soul and my life

Open the curtains
And let the light shine in
Cast out fear
And heal me, inside and out.

For/give yourself to me
Completely give yourself to me
For I have no other who can really understand
And I am alone
Hear my cry
And rescue me from brokenness
Put my shattered self back together again
And make me new
Make me know, inside, that I am loved
Always have been
Always will be
And that you saw and you were angry too
Because your child was hurt
And I was killed
And it was wrong

Hear me
pray
Father
forgive
them

God
please

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Forgiveness and emotions

I am back with a theme I spent some time with just recently (see post here) – forgiveness…
It’s funny how things come in waves but just recently I have found myself repeatedly connecting with this topic – through conversations over coffee, stuff people have said in church talks, things I have read, news stories, passages from the scriptures, chatting with Tory, and generally pondering it for a while.

On a slightly different tack (although perhaps you’ll see how it connects for me) I have also been wrestling with the how well my ‘teaching’ or ‘preaching’ is going down. The truth is that I am not sure it is going down very well. Not that it is bad or ‘boring’ (my biggest fears) – but just not connecting in the way that I really hope for. What seems vital to me seems to miss the mark in others – or go over people’s heads.

I don’t get the feeling that people are feeling it – getting it. It is the emotions that are not being touched.

Some would say that this was fine for emotions are notoriously fickle and untrustworthy. What really matters is truth.

And I can see that but I am not convinced… for unless a truth has an emotional content, unless it grips our heart, it is not worth much, no mater how ‘true’ it is.

I have heard it said that the stronger the emotional impact of a thought, or the stronger the emotional content of a thought, the stronger the thought actually is for us, the longer it holds our attention, the more significant it is for us. If truth holds no emotion for us then the truth is that it doesn’t really matter to us – and probably isn’t making any difference to the way we actually live.

So for example take this statement: “Grass is green”.

Well, the statement is true – but I would be surprised if it had much emotional hold on our thinking.

But take this one; “Barak Obama is president of America”

No more ‘true’… but a lot more loaded with emotional resonances…

So, I am wondering if the ‘truth’ I preach is just sounding flat – emotionally dry – unconnected with life…? Perhaps so… And perhaps that is why Jesus wrapped his truth in stories… for people always ‘get’ the emotion of a story over and above abstract truth…

I say all this, not just as a way of thinking about the effectiveness of my preaching… but because I want to learn how to talk about things as crucial as forgiveness in ways that resonate powerfully with the heart.

mmm…

And so to forgiveness… Is this something that has an emotional charge with you?

With me it always makes me think of one person. A guy I found hard to forgive. A guy who I thought hurt me and knocked my back and who I wanted to avoid at all costs – which was hard because we worked together.

Looking back I can’t remember the actual instances of hurt – the ‘he-said-that, I-said-this-conversations’, or the various ways that I felt undermined or hurt or rejected… all I remember is the feeling. And it is still strong… Perhaps our memories hold onto the emotions of events far longer than the narrative of the events…

Any how, whenever I think about forgiveness, as I did the other day chatting a friend of mine over coffee, I hit this emotional story of my past. This is where the word hits the ground for me. This is where the truth becomes emotional to me.

And it was a good conversation with my friend – helpful – insightful… He asked me what I had been ‘robbed of’ by this person…

That’s a good question…
And it opens up a whole load of stuff…

And then I was reading another story of people I don’t know – but who lost their 11year old boy in a terrible accident. I say ‘accident’ for it was of course not intentional, but the bear and brutal facts of the case are simply that this young lad was walking home with three friends and one of their dads having just come out of Church youth club, when a car came around the corner, climbed the pavement and crashed into them all. All of them were injured, but one boy died later in hospital.

What made it worse was that the woman driving the car ran off – in fear – and shock – and hid herself for days.

I had heard the story from a friend of mine who belongs to the same church as the parents. How terrible it must have been for them.

This week I came across the Police press conference that the parents had to endure where they told their story and pleaded with the woman to come forward… it was heart breaking.

The dad haltingly said this…

This is an impossible time for us. We’ve got three other children and they’re full of questions that we can’t even begin to answer. Sam was the most wonderful of boys and we loved him very much. His smile could light up the darkest room and his attitude to life shone out of him like a light. He was passionate about football and he loved his brothers and us. He also knew that he was loved by us very much indeed. He also loved Jesus and it is comforting to know that he is with him now. But we miss him very much indeed… and… um… we wish that he was with us every second of the day.

I struggled to watch the pain of the parents as they tried their hardest to remain composed. I was moved. And it made me wonder just how much had been robbed from them in this incident? Could forgiveness be possible? What did it mean?

Emotionally connected I have been thinking it through once again…

If forgiveness is an action – what does that mean?

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Hungry

Words
Thoughts
Dreams
Songs
Images
Ideas

Hungry is a feeling from the gut which dominates our thinking. When we are hungry our minds find it hard to concentrate and our bodies start communicating to us.

I am hungry

Hungry for prayer and connection with God
Hungry for Jesus’ kingdom to break into my life and the lives of those I live near
Hungry for change
Hungry for things to get fixed
Hungry for the glory of God
Hungry for stuff that satisfies

Come all you who are hungry
Come, everyone who is thirsty
Even if you have no money to buy anything
And I will quench your thirst

God knows I am hungry
Don’t let me down now God
I am thirsty for you

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Proud

Just wanted to mention how proud I am of my brother Martin who has a picture up at the Summer Exhibition at the Royal Academy.

He has a new Website of his work too.

He takes real picutres with real film and then compiles them together to make a final piece.

Check him out here : http://martinwilson.net/

Bears

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Age of grace

Living in the age of grace

I was engaging in the worship…
On the one hand just letting the music and the words do their work and reconfigure my ‘hard drive’ and on the other hand I was putting in some effort – giving my attention to God, trying to focus, setting my mind on things above. And the music was great, and the prayers were sensitive and poignant, and the words of the songs were full of grace…

…and as time passed by I sensed God speak – breathe a word into me…

It doesn’t happen like this often for me… I don’t often sense that I ‘hear’ so directly… although even on this occasion it wasn’t audible – the words were like any thoughts in my head – a sentence spoken in my own voice inside… but it was just that the words seem to originate from somewhere else other than my own head – as if I hadn’t made them up myself, or put them together…

And the words were these: Read the rest of this entry »

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